Middle School Mayhem Book 1 - Down with the Dance

  • Chapter 1

  • Me

    Middle school.

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    Profile Picture of Me in Middle School Mayhem Book 1 - Down with the Dance
  • I mean, am I right?

  • You might think it's appropriately named because, well, it's smack dab in the middle of high school and elementary school (why isn't it called low school?), but to me it's more like muddle through school.

  • Me

    And thatโ€™s on good days.

    Profile Picture of Me in Middle School Mayhem Book 1 - Down with the Dance
  • On bad days, itโ€™s medieval torture school.

  • Everyone talked it up about how awesome it was with more freedom, new friends, and easy electives like napping and finger painting.

  • Me

    But all I got was a Wednesday morning fart in the face (after Taco Tuesday), or in other words, a new principal who hated my guts.

    Profile Picture of Me in Middle School Mayhem Book 1 - Down with the Dance
  • Before we get into that, allow me to introduce myself.

  • Austin Davenport here, and this is my story.

  • Me

    Buckle up, itโ€™s going to be a bumpy ride.

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  • Iโ€™m just going to come right out and say it.

  • No suspense.

  • Me

    No mystery.

    Profile Picture of Me in Middle School Mayhem Book 1 - Down with the Dance
  • There are two villains in this story, Principal Buthaire (he says itโ€™s French, but everyone calls him Butt Hair) and my brother, Derek.

  • They are a match made in heaven, because my brother has the prized family butt chin, which means that everyone, including my parents, likes him more than me.

  • Me

    Seriously, it's like he has a teeny tiny baby's butt on his chin.

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  • I don't know why everyone thinks it's so awesome.

  • They've never seen the dark side of the butt chin.